 How do you keep your center when life is falling apart? I didn't exactly know until mine was falling apart. It has been few months since I was hit hard by reality - financial pressure, career setback, the decline of my father's health, the death of someone I knew and an identity crisis. As my worry and fear hit me like a hurricane and pulled me apart, I lost my inner stability. I couldn't ground myself emotionally until one day when I gave a balance exercise to my client, Dave. I observed as he stabilized himself by tensing up his muscles and locking his joints. The harder he tried, the more he wobbled and failed his task. From the fitness point of view, core strength refers to the strength of the abdominal muscles, back muscles and the muscles inside or around the pelvic area. However, for Dave, he didn't need to get those muscles tougher and stronger. He lacked the connection between core strength and his mind.
Core means the central, innermost, or most essential part of anything. Strength means quality of being able to access power and maintain stability. Beside of being strong and centered, core strength in the mind is also about being ready. It is the readiness to take action when time is right, but also to let go when things no longer serve our well being. With the core strength in both body and mind, we are able to shift our center with us in anywhere and anytime without fixating in an external situation. At that moment, I realized I was just one step away from the calm eye of my hurricane mind. Instead of letting unpleasant thoughts fall on to me, I let them to fall around me. I am safe. I am peaceful. I am ready to fall and rise. 5 things to keep centering your mind: 1) Focus on the good, rather than the bad My family and friends love me. My love relationship is getting stronger each day. My clients appreciate my help. etc. 2) Magnify a little sweetness into blessing My 7 year old student came to me after the class. She gave me a hug and said, “Thank you, Ms Mandy. Thank you for the wonderful class.” Awww….she made my day and reminded me, "I am changing the world". (Yes, I need to feed my ego sometimes...humbly.) 3) Make an appreciation list I appreciate the tea that I am drinking to slow me down. I appreciate my good health. I appreciate my lungs take care of me breathing in and breathing out without complaint. etc. 4) Be mindful - respond, rather than react with negative thoughts When you feel negative emotion, write it down in a paper (journal) and put the paper in a jar or somewhere so it cannot 'hurt' you or others. Yes, you can do it...just need some practice. I recommend my favorite book Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. You will get some insight on how to tame your monkey mind and respond to your thoughts. 5) Exercise! Exercise can boost your oxytocin level which is the "happy" hormone. Just do anything physical to keep your body moving - walk your dog, clean your apartment, help your neighbor, dance, swimming, Yoga, Pilates etc. The happier your body, the clearer your mind.
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Maria was 21 years old when I met her in March. She has a physical disability of the bones and ligaments which is caused by Morquio Syndrome. It is a rare genetic disease of metabolism in which the body is missing or doesn't have enough of a substance needed to break down long chains of sugar molecules called glycosaminoglycans (formerly called mucopolysaccharides). The physical characteristics of Morquio Syndrome include abnormal heart development, abnormal skeletal development, hyper-mobile joints, large fingers, knock-knees, dwarfism, widely spaced teeth, bell-shaped chest, enlarged heart and more. Each person with the disease manifests a little differently. Maria has some of those physical characteristics which affect her ability to walk and perform some daily activities independently. She used to walk with crutches until third grade when she had a leg operation and despite the operation, her muscles still atrophied.
In the first session, I asked Maria few questions and reviewed some exercises that she had practiced with her previous trainer. I observed her movements while making mental notes. After the assessment, we began our session with breathing awareness. Since that day, I met Maria once a week for the next nine months. She is smart, creative, humorous, good-hearted and strong-minded. During this period of time, we worked on sensing, connecting, organizing and engaging different body systems to bring new awareness to her body. Her muscle tone had also increased which gave a better support to her dynamic alignment from sitting to standing. In our last session, she was able to take one hand off from her walker while standing. This was a tremendous improvement for someone who before used mostly her arms strength to support herself when standing. Maria's parents and I were happy with her progress. However, we have to put our sessions on hold for a while as Maria is away to pursue her study in arts and disability. After working with Maria, I understand disability differently and only see Maria’s capability. She demonstrated how to move beyond her limitations with a clear intention. She reminded me one of my realizations. I wrote in my journal: "I have the whole world when I turn my mind in the right direction." Maria definitely connects her mind with her body better than a lot of people who are physically in shape. I am excited for her new journey and will miss her a lot. |
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