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Breathing Blog

I Am Not As Nice As You Thought

9/8/2014

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Monday was the Labor Day holiday which brought tranquility to the city. Most of the people were out of town for the long weekend. There were just few people on the streets early in the morning. I was enjoying this spaciousness on my way to the yoga studio. When I arrived at the studio, my experienced was the opposite of the scenario 30 minutes ago. The yoga class was packed with over 40 people compared to 20 people on a usual day. My mind was secretly mumbling with unease about not getting my favorite spot. My neighbors and I were squashed into a place right under sunlight. My foot could almost touch the window few inches behind me whenever I extended my leg. By the time we started the class, the floor was completely filled with unrolled mats. There was not an inch of space being wasted. Everyone seemed to adapt to the challenge and easily went with the flow. However, I could not help feeling annoyed even though I knew I shouldn't feel that way.

When we were finally settled on our mats, the first thing that my teacher said was, ”Be aware of what you are thinking..." right before my mind went further with more negative thoughts. She continued, "Whatever your mind is thinking, don't justify it. Turn your thought into your breath." This reminded me to give myself permission to be honest to my feelings. It was a relief. I instantly jumped into the guilt-free zone knowing that it is alright to be negative sometimes. (I just have to be mindful of my action and speech when negative feelings/thoughts arise.) After the first chant of ‘OM’, I finally “arrived” on my mat. My mind came back to the present moment. The practice began.

The rhythmic breath, the flow of movement, and the constant exchange of inner and outer awareness, unified the practice in the room. I was grateful for the other 40 different bodies in the room demonstrating their unique ways to stretch, twist, elongate, align and realign. My spirit was uplifted. My mat seemed bigger than I thought. The class went by quickly. We chanted the last ‘OM’ to end the practice. People started to pack and leave the room. The lady who practiced next to me left her mat and yoga props on the floor. She picked up her cell phone to make a phone call. I overheard her say, “The charger?...What!....No! What do you mean? ....it’s in the first drawer. No! I told you before….”  I felt bad because I was once like her - being impatient and harsh to my loved ones. I left the room. But, this time, I didn't leave my practice behind.


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A Simple Affection

7/6/2014

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Last May, I was a guest teacher for four modern dance workshops for an elementary school in Brooklyn, Williamsburg. Students, from 1st to 3rd grade, had taken Ballet with my colleague, Sonia, before my workshops. Sonia warned me that one or two boys might refuse to participate in the class. On the first day, as what I expected, the girls were more enthusiastic and attentive than the boys. One of the boys, Alex, just stood in the corner watching his classmates dance. The other boy, Jack, was constantly making noise, stepping out of his spot or calling out questions. I felt a little bit distracted, but I kept my calm and was focused on the fun part. After I taught them how to roll, fall, spin on the floor and jump with their hands, I eventually got all of their attention and interest.  Boys and girls alike were all sweating and wearing a big smile on their faces.  I knew they had a good time. Before I dismissed them, I reminded them that I will see them again the next day as well as following Monday and Tuesday. One of the girls called out, “I want to see you every day!” I instantly felt warmth in my heart.

Over the following two days, I taught them different movement qualities and the concept of dividing space into three levels: high, middle and low, so they can better explore the possibilities of moving through space. The boys definitely showed more enthusiasm than the first day. However, Jack still interrupted the class here and there. In the last day of the workshop, I reminded the class again that Ms. Sonia will come back on the following week to start choreographing for them. The class said goodbye to me; a few girls gave me hugs. Then, I packed my things while students were lining up to leave the room with their class teacher. The room became quiet. When I turned around, Jack was still there on the other side of the room. He was fussing around with his bag. I urged him to catch up with the group. But, he seemed to not want to leave. "I miss you!" Jack called out.  

"(Awwww….) I miss you too," I responded. Jack didn’t say anything back. He just picked up his bag and left the room.  I was so touched by this simple affection.



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  • Home
  • About Mandy
  • Mind-Body Movement
    • Movement Classes/workshops
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